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“What you wont give me that?” my friend was surprised when I said that to him.

“No, not this time and definitely not that book” I answered. He was staring me at disbelief. For years we’ve been trading books with each other and he was shocked to see me refuse him a book. And I was so possessive about the book to let it go. I had saved penny to penny to buy that one. Yet, it was always a distant dream. But now I got it. It was The Fountain Head by Ayn Rand.

I am a type of guy who will never hold back things. As soon as I finish reading a book, I will either give it as a present or somebody will borrow it from me not bothering to return or read. When asked about the book, they will start explain how busy they are and their schedule to me. When I started reading The Fountain head, I knew that I should not give away this book and definitely not going to lend for someone who will not bother to read it.

For years, I wanted to read that book. Right from the day, I started reading English novels.  My sister and I always meet at a bookshop whenever we are out. It was one march and I knew my sister was good at picking clues. We were sitting in this bookstore, when I pointed out a shelf that contained Fountain head and other books.

“I know Prasanna. Now you will need all those books.” Though I didn’t understand the comment fully, I thought she got the point. I was shocked when she bought me, Shiv Kera’s “You can win” for my birthday. I was fuming at the bookstore which kept You Can Win and Fountainhead in the same place.

I was then in Mysore, visiting my Ex. We were browsing a book store, when I again saw Fountain  head. I didn’t want to take risks by giving clues this time. But my wallet was empty that day. She had only 300 bucks making 400 bucks short for buying the book. Yet my ex tried to cheer me up by sending e-book of Fountainhead the same day. But nothing beats the fresh aroma of your lovable book.

Then I completely forgot about Fountainhead and moved on with life. I would save money for that book, but for some reason, it will get spent. After a year or two, my ex and I broke up. At that time she gave me this book and said “Prasanna, To say I love you, a person must really understand I in that”. I was too hurt to listen to her dialogues. And I took the book only after a week or two. It was paper bound and was heavier than I thought. The pages were filled with tiny characters, and lot of substance. Slowly, I began to immerse in the world of Howard Roark, Dominique Francon, Peter Keating, Elsworth Toohey and Gail Wynand. The success of The Fountainhead, I think is, the protagonist is everything we want to be and we cant be. And antagonist is everything we are and we dont want to be.

I kept it with me in train, in queues, in grocery stores, wherever I went. I loved the book. And I never lent that to anyone. I made up my mind to give the book only to people who will respect the books and the writer. And for so many days, I didn’t find anybody like that.

Then I met this girl, who was in an abusive relationship. When I was talking to her, the topic turned to individuality and sacrificing individuality for love’s sake things. I thought she really needed some help and gave my book to her. She also started reading it. Then few days later again she started talking, but this time firmly about giving up her individuality for the sake of her boyfriend. I politely requested to give my book back to me as there was no need of a book like The Fountainhead for her.

Since then, I never parted with the book and it is still with me. And if I see anybody who will really appreciate the book, I am ready to lend it to them.

Note: I have not revealed anything about the book or plot. But if you google it up, you will find about it. Go ahead and enjoy, it is a not to be missed kind of book.

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