I actually kind of enjoy it. Right from the childhood I’ve always been like that. The sense of belonging always have eluded me. If I was in a trekking group, I would be the last one climbing and discuss less about trek there. If I was in middle of photographers I will be the least knowledgeable and the things I want to photograph will be always ignored by others. If I was in a social gathering, most of the times I feel invisible.
It had happened to me in office as well. Till four months in the current organization nobody knew that someone with my name even worked in the office. Once my bank guy told me that they cant verify my account because nobody knows me in office. Thankfully the HR manager know me and that helped at that point of time.
My family and brother made me read books from childhood and it was very helpful. I wasnt trying to fit anywhere. The books created new world to me and if I had to discuss a book I wouldnt have anyone other than my brother and most of the popular fiction never really attracted me and if people were talking about that I will have no clue. I was a misfit there too.
Sometimes there are instances where I had to be in a social gathering. When people are so happy networking and clicking picture at drop of the hat, one part of me wants to mingle with them and then the misfit part of me dont let that happen.
This is the problem when you have two or three people who actually take notice of you and the little things you do to them and appreciate it. You wouldnt need any others in their company and that would be perfectly enough. A long drive with two of my friends in ECR before two years is the best memory of me where I participated in all the discussions. Then there was a trip with my brother to some far off place where most of the time were spent in silence. I am again a misfit in office parties and tours.
Its good to be a misfit. I dont have social obligations. I get very few invitations out. I dont spend time and money in travelling from one end of the city to another just for the sake of dinner or drink. I spend time with me and that is not the luxury everyone can afford.
Its nice to be a misfit.