Lot has been said about marriages and how it affects women and their personal life. It is sad that society and husband expects a girl to sever all her friendships and concentrate only on her family. Though she tries to keep in touch with few important people in her life invariably after few days, she gets herself busy in her own house and duties. It is heartening to see the career women now a days who constantly expand their network as well as keep their family happy.
There is another side of the story to it as well. Till a period of time there is no restriction or a liberty to life for guys. A cricket match at the end of the day is a valid reason to stay at a friend’s place overnight. They are encouraged by their family to get out and have a life in the weekends. They can choose to booze at weekdays if he got a promotion. There is no restriction on his dress.
But all these things change once he gets engaged or married. I had a friend in my old office. We used to hangout together daily after our shift ends. He used to come in early if I am working in different shift and ask for permission to come out with me. I have extended numerous days for him to finish the shift and go for our daily doze of booze. His Hero Honda Splendor plus is the vehicle which showed me what is what in Chennai. We chatted endlessly till the break of dawn in a tea shop about absolutely silly things.
“Anything for you” is his famous dialogue. He never said no to any of my wishes even if its out of his grab. At one point of life I thought such people are the one who comes in life for reason. And then that happened.
He got engaged.
There was a significant change in his behavior. Not in a bad way though. The girl becomes our sister and we would do anything for both of them to be happy. Right from giving invitations, taking photographs, finalizing caterers, I was there and I overlooked everything. I was there the whole two days making him comfortable on his reception and marriage day.
Suddenly I had a feeling that I became second priority. He started to come late to office, spent very less time with us. Even when talking with us, he was away most of the time talking in his cellphone with his wife whom he is going to see at home after five minutes ride.
After few days, I quit the job. The daily calls became weekly and hang outs became impossible. He was in his in-laws house most of the weekends. Suddenly he was taking care of two families. Now the relationship is liking and commenting on photos in Facebook. Nothing to take away from the girl. She was most understanding and welcoming when we went over to their house. Wishes me on my birthday without fail. But the old bonding is just not there.
Then there is this another friend. Before his engagement I would spend all my evenings at his place. He was new to the city and we made sure we explore it to the fullest. I was there in all his important days. Eventually after marriage and kids we rarely talk though there is some interaction in Facebook.
Is marriage really this? I accept that somebody is waiting for you at home is really important. But how can friendships which were like nail and flesh become alien as soon as a new person comes into life. If the girl were not given enough time because of the workload in office as well as home, these guys are no different.
P.S. Though it is a brief period of time, I got really close to a blogger friend and we spent quality time every weekend. He is getting engaged this week. I am sure he will love to be in touch and his wife to be a good host. But then “the” thing will happen. And that is what will scare his friends including me.
P.P.S.: Sorry for the rants.
Pic Courtesy : Internet