“I have a fairly good idea. But my circle is small.”
“People FEAR me” he said and silence followed.
“I don’t know what I did to them, but generation after generation, country after country, teach people only to fear me. Tell me, what is that you fear so much?”
“Dogs” I didn’t even think for a second.
“Right! So tell me, what do you do to make a Tibetan Mastiff love you?”
“I said, I fear dogs. How do you think, I will understand them and make them understand me?”
“Precisely the point” he said.
“So you mean to say people didn’t understand you?”
“No! I didn’t say that. People who feared me, didn’t even make an attempt to understand me. There were lot of people who understood me even though they never followed any religions. For religions were a way of life a group of people chose to live together. The problem is, the way I was projected. I am not that cruel”
“Nobody said you were cruel as far as I knew. People had a separate name called Satan to personify evil and cruelty”
“Going by the people’s preachings a normal observer may think I punish them more than Satan does. They had set a principle according to the period they spend in earth. And they forced the generations to come to live with it. But when there was deviation, I was projected as a man with whip to correct them.”
“To correct people. Yes. What is the problem in it?”
“I was expected to correct people by the standard set by some human. That is is the issue”
“So what according to you is right and wrong?”
“We have discussed this upfront. I don’t judge people.”
Fair enough I thought. Only silence was there. I was not even sure, whether it was air that surrounded me or its just vacuum.
“So where am I? Heaven or Hell?”
“What do you think?”
“I have no idea”
“Heaven and Hell are not here my dear man. It is there in your world. If you and the people with you think of you with love and little smile in their lips, be assured that it is heaven.”
“I don’t even want to talk about it. It is a pathetic state of being not loved by self. At least one person in the world will remember you with kindness for some of your random act. If oneself is punishing himself with hatred, that is the hollow called Hell, from which he can never come out.”
“Its good to think I am balanced then. So since I have met you.. err.. heard you here. Should I conclude that you are for real and I was wrong all along?”
“You don’t have to change anything. Consider this as a conversation you had with yourself. I am, the extend of your thought process and knowledge. No more than that. So I am what you think I am or what you think I am not. It is only up to you.”
“That is a nice way to put it.”
“So nice talking to you. Enjoy your stay here. I may come around after a while. You have no idea how many people I am welcoming here. So Ciao”
For some reason I felt that the conversation is ending abrupt. It always happens to me. But I don’t want to be a whiny child clinging onto company.
“Sure, Bye! By the way, Will you miss me?”
I heard only a distant chuckle.