There was a time, when I never worried about what I write, because nobody bothered to read what I write. This is my 8th year in blogging and I had been blogging in Tamil, my mother tongue. When I wrote about controversial topics, unnecessary things happened and my caste, family and other thing got dragged for stating my opinion. That was when I thought, I would better do without a blog.
But I later started few English blogs, deleted them and created new ones. This is my eighth blog space or something like that. Here I have to say something. English is not my first language and I was never a master of it. Getting 35 marks was my aim in language papers and I got it with great difficulty. I simply don’t think in English to get things right. And for most part of my school, language teachers were not employed. Maths or science teacher would be the person who would take care of our english periods.
So there was no teacher who imbibed a big interest in English nor I had a chance to read the classics. The first english book that I fell in love with was Scarlet Pimpernel. I mugged up those essays for my board exams and never thought about it again. Then after few years I chanced upon Paulo Coelho and his simple english captivated me and gave me an inspiration to write.
There are few posts even I would laugh if I read it now. I do not have great command over english but still few mistakes glare at my face and make me laugh. And then there was this recent conversation that was happening on Facebook.
It was about how people who are not well versed in grammar write posts and get appreciation. My first reaction was to get angry. How can anyone say that to someone? But then I chanced upon some poorly written Tamil posts with lot of spelling mistakes. And then my blood boiled. I was able to sympathize with people who got angry when english grammar was wrong in posts. I was in the illusion that over a period of reading and writing I improved. I was wrong. Every single post of mine when read now, has number of mistakes. Grammatical, punctuation, long sentences were norm in my posts. But that was how I have communicated through this blog for three years and earned a bunch of followers. I do not know whether they chose to tolerate me or some other reason.
A beloved friend wrote about this dilemma and asked a question of why someone should write in a language that is not their own. It was a moment of truth for me. I am good enough in Tamil and average in English. But till today I have not taken as much efforts to improve my Tamil vocabulary as I did for my english vocabulary. And because I think in Tamil, it is easy for me to write in Tamil as well. Why take the burden of writing in a foreign language, while thinking in mother tongue and translate in mind and produce in paper. There are few blessed people, who think and express in english language. I can’t help but envy them.
I am not giving up. I am just taking a break from my english blog. I am practising to write without any grammar mistake or punctuation mistake and once I am confident that I can do better in english I may be back. Or if I get lost in sweetness of my mother tongue, I won’t be coming back. But I don’t think I can be away from blogging for long. The self-proclaimed Grammar Nazis have one person less to worry about and that is always a good thing. Some one inquired if my profession was tester because I found faults in a good post. I wonder what he would say about this Grammar Nazis who are hell-bent on pointing out mistakes and making fun out of that.
There were photographers and then the digital cameras were invented. The common man was able to hold the camera and created images from his perspective. Then the whole scenario changed. When they grew up from clicking kittens and sun sets, they created a new world. That is because the common people who make mistakes got the tool in their hand. There were number of mistakes and they learnt from it. But if some photography nazi (:P, That didn’t sound right! I know) nipped it in bud talking about composition and set of rules for creativity, I doubt whether we would have got some great images.