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It all started when my parents started teasing with the things I did as a kid. I know it is totally not me, but you know the kid phenomenon has its influences. That is why I hate kids. I suddenly felt sympathy for my parents. Though my parents tried to convince me that my kids may not be like me, as it always skipped a generation. Then I heard all the things my father did when he was a kid from my aunt. It was not comforting either.

I was at the second year of the college, when one of my uncles got admitted in hospital. Like any normal teenager, I visited my uncle only to check out the nurses. I didnt care about their age. I didnt want them to feel so old. (I am so thoughtful, I know. Thank you). I was busy preparing a pickup line when the nurse came inside the room. Right at that moment, a kid from the next room popped in and said “Hey Uncle!” I wanted to kill him right at that time. I was supposed to be addressed as “Anna”.

Then there was this girl’s schools. Whenever I was there to steal a glance of some high school girl, one of the brats in the neighbourhood will be watching me. However I try to bribe them with pop sickles and chocolates, they used to tell about my adventures to their parents and they would promptly discuss that with their maids. Then it will spread like a wild fire.

The kids in metros is totally another story. They are well advanced of their age. I won’t have anything to discuss with them, because of half the time they would talking about some Japanese characters, making me think that they are into “mushi mushi” so soon. I never knew Bheem was from Dholakpur. I still think he was one of the five (err… six) sons of Kundi or one of the five sons of Pandu (Err..) in Mahabaratha.

I don’t know why but they are the most selfish lot I come across these days. They don’t even allow other kids to get into their group if he/she is not wearing the same crocs, kung fu panda t-shirt or whatever they think is cool enough to be in the set. And they are adamant lot. Once I was in Landmark checking the latest scrabble set and suddenly somebody was pulling my leg. i was scared while I looked down to a three year old kid wailing. I looked up to see his helpless father standing there clueless. Turns out the brad needed a Xbox latest version. I had no clue why he was crying holding my leg. i lifted him up and went to the counter to ask how much did it cost (I am a good guy). It was 40 thousand. It was 40 freaking thousand and that little one wanted it right then and there. He was also abusing his father with whatever comes into his mouth. That clueless gentleman is into a lot of trouble in future I say. And there I was thinking a lot of times over a 300 rupees scrabble set.

Similar thing happened when we were dining in the food court. The sound of glass breaking made us turn around and a seven year old asking his father “Are you not ashamed? You earn well right? You can’t even buy me that Shwarma (Whatever it was)? ”

I mean, what is the point in bringing such kids to world and getting abused in public. The worst thing is some parents are proud that their kids are outspoken. If I had such a kid, he would know what belts are for apart from holding his pant in his waist. I hate them.

 

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