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I was blog hopping yesterday and landed on this particular page. It had the same theme as mine. But it was closed. Closed

Now, I really don’t know how much posts this particular blogger had written for this blog. I don’t know what drove him/her to take this decision. I mean, I have deleted blogs too. But then the url wont be available. So clearly this person had taken time to delete each of his posts to leave it as a blank blog.

But I wonder why? Does he think he will get back to blogging after a while. A hibernation period may be? If so, why should he delete his posts. What kind of blogger he could have been? A short story writer? No I think a poet. He/She chose to select a darker, gloomy theme when he/she decided to close down the blog sending a message that all is not well. Did he/she always did that? I mean, subtly saying things that should have been said aloud.

I usually follow a technique to remember things. I associate pain with the memory. If there was some date to remember, I would bite my nails and pull out the flesh and associate the pain with the memory. Whenever I remember the pain in that particular finger, the memory would flash by. That is my way of maintaining my memory palace. May be the person just got bored of blogging and left and I am  thinking too much. May be not, because in that case the blog would have been dormant. All those blog posts would still be there. And there might be “I will bounce back” posts every new year. No. This is not that kind of blogger.

May be the person dedicated all his posts to a certain person. Or his feelings towards certain person. The blogger could have grown tired of waiting for the reciprocation of feelings from the other end. Worse yet, the certain person rejected his feelings towards him/her. We face quite a number of interviews in our life time. School, College, job and may be bride/bride groom interviews. Nothing pains more than a rejection of love right? May be it is because in other places we are rejected for our qualifications (the things we could have learnt but didn’t. While the actual criteria should be the things we know). May we are and it pains less. But when it comes to love there are feelings, memories and what not.

I guess it would have been as painful as plucking each of your toe nails first when you are aware and then plucking each of your finger nails out and let it bleed like it is your nail color. The pain will go away and the nails will grow back. But the pain that is associated to the memories will be there forever. The blogger could have deleted the blog posts for whatsoever reason but the memories and the pain it felt when they deleted each of their posts will be tied to some other things and will  haunt them forever.

An empty blog is like a haunted house to me. I wonder what kind of people lived there, were they Happy? Sad? What made them smile and what made them cry? And more importantly how did they die? How did everything come to an end? It is a totally different story with a destroyed house. We try to build a new place to live, new people to come and new memories.

But whatever that is bothering you my dear blogger, you will come out of it. May be you will write again. May be you have hundreds of post in your mind but not willing to put down in the computer. Sometimes undisclosed feelings and words are beautiful than the spoken ones.

Best wishes.

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