Dear Rangu,

I am not even sure if I can call you with this name anymore. How I wish we stayed in childhood. Me being an over protective sister and you being an obedient brother. Where did we lose it? Ah! I think it was when we grew up. I have news. We are moving out of the city. He hasn’t told me where. But I guess it would be somewhere abroad probably somewhere in Middle East. You know I cannot stay without him.

See, I think this is one of the problems. When I started talking to you within two sentences he appears in our conversation. Same with you. You cannot stop talking about Abhi. For some reason, I get irritated when she suddenly appears in our conversations. We have started talking after twelve years for God’s sake. And when we try to fill in the gaps, all you could talk was about your wife. I can see that you love her. She is a very lucky woman. And I know my brother. I don’t think you would have expressed all your love to Abhi yet. Have you ever praised her when she made you a perfect dinner? I know you would have jumped with joy in your mind. But did you tell her? Or did you just lick off everything in your plate and washed your hands without a word like you do with me? She had put up with you for seven years now. I think she understands you well.

He was really afraid when I said I was going to contact you. Even I was very afraid. Lot of things had happened and I had no hope that you will open your door for us. But you did. You have matured so much. Your hairline is receding and you have become a little plump. What happened to all those Hrithik Roshan inspired exercises? Remember once you sprained your ankle when you tried to dance like him. I was hurt just like you, but the chance to tease you was too good to let go. Abhi was shocked when we came into your life. I could see it in her eyes. You must have told a lot of good things about me. She treated me with respect. But she didn’t treat me as a family member. Well! How would she? She hasn’t met me and when we came to your place, we came with empty hands.

May be you didn’t know this Rangu! But I had plans for your wedding. You were just 18 when I left the house. But just like how I had imagined every moment of my wedding, I had constructed scenes for your wedding too. Fate had its say in our lives. But I was happy to see your marriage album. You had stared at the camera like a frightened pigeon, just like I had imagined. I wanted to talk a lot in the four days we spent in your house. But it took me a while to realize things had changed. We are not the kids anymore who whispered gossips about classmates and neighbours when we all slept in the hall fifteen years back. What was more hurting was, you didn’t expect an explanation. I wanted to explain my actions to you. I wanted to cry to you. I wanted to cry with you. But my husband was too scared to leave my side. Sometimes I wonder if he is really innocent as he claims. But I have to trust him. He is my husband.

When I went to the college, I didn’t expect things to be like this. Father and Mother gave me luxuries most girls in my class didn’t have. I was able to go to a different city to pursue my dreams. Even as you starved they made sure that my fees were paid in time. I thought you would hate me for that. When I came home during my first semester holidays, the pride which shone in your eyes while you introduced me to your classmates told me otherwise. That remains the happiest moment of my life. When other girls got married and gave birth to children, I pursued medicine. I was going to be the first doctor in our family. But then I met him. I don’t know whether mom and dad told you this before they set themselves in fire. But I had written to them then, just like how I write to you now.

I met him when we were helping a medical camp organized by one of the NGOs. It was funded by a foundation which had strong religious background. I didn’t mind that. I was helping people who were suffering. He was with me all the time. I fell for his mild manners. He was the brightest in the college. Every girl in the college had a thing for him. To think of such a person longing for my attention, gave me a new high which I hadn’t experienced before. It was nothing like the brats who followed me to bus stand everyday when I went to school. Slowly I wanted to be with him. There were evening prayers and I went along with him. We were told that what I was taught all through my life were lies. They gave examples from our own Vedas. I removed all the pictures of deities from my hostel room and my purse as soon as I was back from the camp. I didn’t tell this to our parents.

When he convinced me to wear a Hijab, it felt like a natural thing to do. Mind you I was studying in a college where 70% of girls wore hijab. I wanted to fit in I guess. But I was shunned by other girls who were my best friends. He told me, that if they didn’t like a piece of cloth I am wearing they really do not matter. I agreed with him. I started to read about his religion. I started to get attracted to his beard and his ankle pants. He was still the brightest student. He had great aspirations. He attached me to his dreams and it felt so good. It felt so right. That is how I became Nafisa. I tried to reason with mom and dad. They wouldn’t listen. But I had to take a stand. He was starving at his house, locked up just because he loved me. His father told me they had no problem accepting me in their house. Only that I have to change my identity. That is what I thought Rangu. I was merely changing my identity. But suddenly I became this killer who killed her mom and dad. It was all too hard to take for a 23 year old. I ran away. I didn’t finish my degree. I was at home all the time. The hijab slowly turned to a niqab but not at my own will. I thought it was just a compromise to be with a man whom I loved more than anything. I remembered you all the time Rangu. When a kid cries for more sherbet during Iftar or when my nephew got a dog bite trying to protect his sister, I was reminded of you. I couldn’t imagine what you were going through. But I had to stay away. I was made to stay indoors. The women were progressive in our household. The men weren’t.

If you were angry on me, that didn’t show in your face when I stepped in to your house. It was the same genuine happiness. How can you be like that? The last few years had been rough. Or I would have bought something for the little Annika. When Abhi said, you always said Annika behaves like me, I didn’t understand if she said it with irritation or as a plain statement. I want to clarify something here. I didn’t ask Annika to try Hijab. Annika came to me with a towel and said she want to look like me. How can I refuse that little angel? But I totally understand what Abhi felt about it. Such is our time.

We almost lost everything. What is more paining is that it was not our fault at all. It all started on a day when his friends from Dubai dropped in our place. They didn’t even stay for so long. Whatever happened after that is so blurry. They said our guests had kidnapped people to Sudan. They talked about Love Jihad. We knew only love. My husband was thrashed in his hospital in full public view. My father-in-law’s bakery was burnt to ashes. Do you believe me if I said I saw mom and dad in the flames that rose so high? We were made refugees in our own city. Nobody was ready to give him job. His passport renewal was denied. He started attending more prayer meetings. The curse of not bearing a child became a boon. Then suddenly people started targeting the prayer halls because there was an attack in some other country. We had to run away. We only had you.

Thank you for all your help. He had arranged passports for us in different name. His cousin went missing five months back. He got back into touch with him last month. He said he was in a holy city and there is divine rule there. My husband wanted to start immediately to whatever place that was. I was not even able to give you a proper good bye. Just like the last time. But I assume Abhi will have a sigh of relief and there will be no more fighting between you two. Annika also promised me that she won’t wear a hijab until she finishes college. I will miss her.

God willing, we will meet again. I promise I will take care of you and do everything I wanted to do to you. You have to know that I am very proud of you. You became a business owner all by yourself. You managed to create a family from the scratch. I always knew you were a winner Rangu. You had made me so proud.


Sivasankari (Nafisa)


Kerala Businessman sets himself ablaze with his family.

Cochin- June 26

The Cochin businessman who was questioned for his ties with terrorist organization set himself ablaze along with his wife and daughter.

Rangarajan, A 30 year old businessman had business ties with Dubai and various other cities in Middle east. He had sheltered a Muslim couple for four days in his house, who escaped out of India with fake passports. He co-operated with the investigation. The Muslim couple were allegedly his sister and brother in law. Apparently the neighbour saw their daughter sporting Hijab and tipped off the police. 

The intelligence agencies say that the couple are now in Syria which is under the occupation of IS. Police suspected that Rangarajan received a letter on his next course of actions. He was found burning a letter when police reached their house last Wednesday. He was immediately taken into custody and interrogated by the state police about his involvement.

He got released on bail yesterday.

Police stated that they are looking into other links such as Love Jihad and Conversion. The Muslim organizations declared that there is rise of Saffron Terrorism in the mask of Love Jihad and this is the proof of it. The chief minister and home ministry refused to comment on this issue.